Finding Balance
Welcome to my very first blog post and thank you for stopping by! I come to you feeling refreshed and rejuvenated off the heels of an 11-day vacation abroad with my hubby. We are celebrating our 10th anniversary this summer and used this as an excuse to take a real vacation without the kiddos. I highly encourage you to consider leaving the kids behind for an adults-only trip, if you get the chance… I came home and the bags under my eyes had disappeared!! 😱
The theme for this first post is something I have been contemplating for some time now, as I approach 10 years of marriage. We often talk about how to achieve equality in our relationships, but perhaps we should be seeking balance in our lives instead. Oh, balance…that elusive thing that doesn’t seem to exist in our modern society. We speak of “work-life balance,” which I don’t believe is attainable with a 5-day workweek and 2-day weekend. So, we continue to chase something that just feels out of reach and then feel frustrated when we don’t attain that thing.
But what if we were able to make small changes that could have a big impact? After having my first child, I poured myself headfirst into being a do-it-all working mom and my expectations of myself were unrealistically high (hello, first-born Asian daughter 🙄). Even in trying to do things that I wanted to do that would help me manage stress, such as doing yoga or going to the gym, became an all-or-nothing endeavor. Either I committed myself to a daily morning yoga practice, or it was worthless. Either I went to the gym 3x/week or there was no point.
In trying to look at the big picture, I lost sight of small wins.
It’s during this time, that I became the worst part of myself. I was stressed, exhausted, and had lost passion for the things I used to love. Over the past year or so, I have worked to implement small changes, that I know have benefited myself and my family. In carving out small amounts of time daily for myself, whether that is to go for a walk, do yoga, play with my kids distraction-free, or simply be by myself, I am striking a better occupational balance. In setting boundaries at work and in my personal life, I realized that the world is not going to come crumbling down if I prioritize my needs first, and I am happier as a result.
In the home, instead of trying to divide up household tasks and responsibilities “equally” based on time commitment or level of difficulty, what if we divided up tasks based on each person’s skills and interests? There is no perfect formula for this, of course, as someone will always have to clean the toilets, but maybe in leaning into our strengths, we all feel more successful and happier? I find that taking care of smaller household tasks in a few free moments I have here-and-there really adds up when checking off the endless to-do list of chores. As an occupational therapist with many years of experience in pediatrics, promoting independence in my children is tremendously important to me, so I’m always finding ways to involve them in doing their part around the house.
This Mother’s Day, I hope that everyone reading this post is able to take a few minutes to do something that brings you calm, joy, energy, or all of the above. I have no real advice or wisdom to share, except to say that finding ways to align the scales within yourself and within your home is not out of reach but does require intention. I hope that sharing my story inspires you to reflect on the importance of balance within your life.
